Humans are a highly social species and, as such, are greatly dependent on group membership. Being a good group member requires the capacity to understand complex and subtle social rules, recognise what responses our actions evoke from others and engage in behaviours that comply with and benefit group norms. The concept of group membership helps us understand how groups influence individual behavior, how people perceive and understand others, how people form attitudes through socialisation and what all this means for the way people form connections with one another.
The social identity theory introduces the idea of ‘ingroups’ and ‘outgroups’, with ingroups simply being those groups to which particular people belong and outgroups, those to which they do not belong. Beginning in infancy, humans readily differentiate between ingroups and outgroups. According to this theory, ingroups consist of individuals who perceive themselves to be members of the same social category, value the groups with which they identify and experience pride through their group membership. Whether it is pride in your school, ethnicity, country or football team, defining yourself by that group status is part of your social identity and, therefore, largely influences favoritism towards ingroup members and dictates who we are likely to form connections with. On the other hand, we are more likely to view outgroup members as less varied and potentially form judgements and prejudices against them.
Studies in psychology have shown that long-term evaluations of people are heavily influenced by first impressions. However, the factors that affect first impressions, such as gender or skin color, can lead to perceptual errors and biases. People hold beliefs about certain groups because it allows them to make quick judgements of the people they meet and mentally organise information about people on the basis of their membership in certain groups. Such beliefs are stereotypes, that is, mental shortcuts that allow for easy, fast processing of social information. Stereotyping occurs automatically and, in most cases, outside of our awareness, showing how our subconscious plays a role in the way we perceive others and, consequently, how we proceed to connect with them.
Various situational and personal factors influence how people form relationships. For example, a study was conducted to examine the effects of proximity and familiarity on the likelihood of people forming connections. In this study, friends in a college dorm were examined, as dorm assignments for students were random and there was no risk of bias. It was concluded that the more two people come into contact, the more likely they are to become friends. Friendships often form between people who belong to the same clubs, teams or societies. In other words, people’s social networks tend to form with individuals they come to frequent proximity with. Proximity often leads to familiarity, and people tend to prefer familiar things to unfamiliar ones. In fact, people tend to fear anything novel. When people are repeatedly exposed to the same thing, they become familiarised with it and ultimately develop a fondness towards it over time. This is called the ‘mere exposure effect’.
Additionally, people with similar attitudes, values, temperaments, interests, backgrounds and personalities tend to like each other more, proving that birds of a feather really do flock together. In high school, people tend to befriend those of the same sex, age or academic year. Similarly, college roommates who are most similar at the beginning of the school year are most likely to become good friends. Of course, people can and do form connections with people of different ages, ethnicities or races, but such relationships tend to be based on other important similarities, such as personal values, education or socioeconomic status.
All in all, people tend to form connections based on opinions formed on both a conscious and subconscious level, and external situational factors are just as important as individual traits and personality when it comes to whether or not we will like the people we meet. A sense of belonging is essential to all humans, so belonging to and identifying with a certain group is a major factor when it comes to predicting who we will come into contact with and who we are most likely to form lasting, meaningful connections and relationships with in our lives.
